Sometimes, when a woman considers abortion, she may not believe that it will have an effect on her family or close friends. However, that couldn’t be farther from the truth as president and founder of Ramah International, Sydna Masse writes:
“When I decided to abort, I captured the false promise that afterwards I could go on as if nothing happened. The choice seemed the best for everyone involved—particularly my family”
However, although she reasoned with herself that this choice would be the best for everyone, the abortion took a toll on her mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing, changing her personality drastically as the inward pain was masked for a time by drug and alcohol use.
What are Some Impact of Abortion on the Family?
Sydna notes that there are several impacts that an abortion can have on the family:
Confusion (as her parents saw their daughter’s personality had suddenly changed),
Anger (Sydna blamed her mother for not being as emotionally available, which kept her from sharing her pregnancy)
Infertility (Abortion played a role in conceiving her 2nd child, although later she was able to conceive),
Bonding (guilt from the abortion of her 1st child, made it hard for her to bond with her new son)
Guilt, and Grief (her mom learned her secret and shared it with her daughter 5 years later, after a confrontation, grief from a lost grandchild was felt by the mom and guilt inside Sydna’s heart).
Thankfully the story doesn’t end here as God’s grace and restoration, was able to heal her family wounds as well as her own broken heart.
If this story sounds familiar, know that you are not alone. There are many women that feel an abortion would be a better choice than having to place a burden on their loved ones.
Some women may also believe as this decision concerns their body, that it will not have an impact on their family. However, the reality is that abortion does have an effect on not only the individual, but family as well.
If you have already had an abortion, I encourage you to mend any wounds with family and seek restoration. There are counselors, churches, organizations etc. that can assist in many ways to help bring reconciliation and peace in your heart and mind.
With God’s grace, restoration is possible.
“With God all things are possible” (Mt 19:26)
Facts & Alternatives
For those who may find themselves in a situation where they are considering abortion, below are some important facts and alternatives to think about.
Why Women Choose Abortion vs Adoption
In a study done in the early 2000's women were asked about their reasons for abortion, and the possibility of putting up their child for adoption.
"In a 2004 survey of 1,209 American women at 11 major abortion clinics, women revealed that health problems, rape, incest, nor coercion by family members or partners were not the primary or even secondary reasons for seeking an abortion." ~The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (actionlife.org)
Most women who have an abortion, 92% of them listed "other", while 7% state health issues played a factor and only about 0.5% decided to have an abortion due to rape.
Abortion advocates hypocritically point out that women seek out abortion due to pregnancy health risks. However, in this study, most women who choose abortion do so as they believe its the easier solution.
The study also showed that choosing to abort their baby, was not something that these women truly wanted. However, they were convinced that it (abortion) was the best and sometimes only option.
"It is tragic that women facing a difficult or unwanted pregnancy see abortion as their only option." The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (actionlife.org)
When asked to consider an alternative like adoption, about 1/3 of the thirty-eight women interviewed viewed it as "morally unconscionable" because "giving one's child away is wrong." ~The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (actionlife.org)
This line of thinking that Abortion is somehow the better choice than to placing your child up for adoption, shows the great amount of emotional turmoil, confusion, and fear that plays a part in the many women choosing abortion.
"How has it become unacceptable to place a child for adoption, but justified to kill that same child? The profound moral confusion caused by legalized abortion is painfully evident in the accounts given by women in this study."~ The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (actionlife.org)
Listed below are the reasons given in the 2004 study of Why Women have Abortions:
· 25% Not ready for a(nother) child/timing is wrong
· 23% Can't afford a baby now
· 19% Have completed my childbearing/have other people depending on me/children are grown
· 8% Don't want to be a single mother/am having relationship problems
· 7% Don't feel mature enough to raise a(nother) child/feel too young
· 4% Would interfere with education or career plans
· 4% Physical problem with my health
· 3% Possible problems affecting the health of the fetus
· <0.5% Was a victim of rape
· <0.5% Husband or partner wants me to have an abortion
· <0.5% Parents want me to have an abortion
· <0.5% Don't want people to know I had sex or got pregnant
· 6% Other
(Statistics taken from: Reasons U.S. Women Have Abortions: Quantitative and Qualitative Perspectives, by Lawrence B. Finer et al. published by the Guttmacher Institute, 2004)
"Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting of another, usually a child, from that person's biological or legal parent or parents. Legal adoptions permanently transfer all rights and responsibilities, along with filiation, from the biological parent or parents." ~ wikipedia.com
Putting up a baby for adoption is not an easy decision but is the best choice if the alternative is abortion. There are so many adoptive families who are just waiting and longing to have a child of their own! Sometimes in the adoption process, birth mothers can feel guilty about putting up their baby for adoption. They may have feelings of grief, anxiety, or just feel like a failure for not wanting to or being unable to care for their child. Whatever the reasons may be for choosing to place your child for adoption, it can be an emotional and hard decision for any woman and for
everyone involved. However, that being said to create an adoption plan with a potential adoptive family can be the right decision in the health of your future child.
Why an Adoption Agency?
Adoption Agencies are created to help connect birth mother with potential adoptive parents. For those who choose adoption, an Adoption Agency is a logical and safe choice. Adoption agencies are able to set up meetings with prospective adoptive and birth parents and be the liaison between the two. An adoption agency is also able to handle details concerning the adoption to make it legally safe for all involved parties as well as help keep accountability on the welfare and health of the adoptive child.
The adoption process is not always easy and having trusted adoption services can make a world of difference when navigating the road of choosing adoption.
What does Adoption mean to a child?
Putting a child up for adoption can be one of the most complex decisions one has to make. However, sometimes it can be the best decision to choose adoption, especially if the birth mother is young, unable to care for her child, or is physically unfit. Placing a child for adoption is not always easy, but the best choice when choosing between abortion or adoption. Those who are adopted children may feel not wanted by their birth parents, resulting in feelings of depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc. However, placing a child in the care of a loving and supportive family can change their future into a bright and happy one. Also, there are options in the adoption process like open adoption, that make it possible for the birth mother and father to be a part of their adoptive child’s life!
Facts About Adoption Benefits
There are many couples who want to be pregnant and are unable due to health challenges. These and many other families are searching for potential children to become a part of their adoptive family. In fact, there are 560,000 couples who are currently seeking to become adoptive parents in the US alone.
There are different types of options available as well for adoption such as a: semi open, or open adoption. In either scenario the parents are able to determine the amount of contact they wish to have with their child and adoptive family. Some parents choose to remain an active part of their child's life while others feel that in the interest of all involved, it would better if they not interfere.
Whatever choice, adoption instead of abortion is the best option!
Here are some facts about adoption that a 2007 National Survey reported about adopted children:
● Adopted children were more likely to be read to every day as young children (68 percent of adopted children vs. 48 percent of children in the general population).
● Adopted children were more likely to be sung or told stories every day as a young child (73 percent of adopted children vs. 59 percent of children in the general population).
● Adopted children were more likely to participate in extracurricular activities as school-age children (85 percent of adopted children vs. 81 percent of children in the general population).
● More than half of adopted children have excellent or outstanding reading, language arts, and math performance. Report from: ~ https://www.americanadoptions.com
For birth mothers dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, it can seem daunting and overwhelming. However, there is no reason to be afraid. You don't have to do this on your own! There are many FREE services available from medical, counseling, even financial assistance or living expenses!
We are Operation Rescue Me are here to support you by connecting you to local and national services that can help you with unplanned pregnancy options! For more information on local and national services click here
Operation Rescue Me Loves Moms! We are a Charlotte, NC based ministry whose heart is for mothers and their unborn child! We exist to help connect moms with local and national resources that can help mothers dealing with an unplanned pregnancy! We also hold an annual event where we educate, connect parents with ministries and local services as well as minister to emotional and spiritual needs. If you are looking for help, please don't hesitate to contact us through our email: email@example.com or by going to our website: www.operationrescueme.org
We pray that the Lord blesses you and the life of your little one to be!
New International Bible. (2011). The NIV Bible https://www.biblegateway.net/ (Original Work Published 1973)
Life in the Womb Archives - Pro-Life Action League
Reasons U.S. Women Have Abortions: Quantitative and Qualitative Perspectives, by Lawrence B. Finer et al. published by the Guttmacher Institute, 2004 )