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How to help a Friend considering abortion?

Updated: Jun 30, 2022

You get a phone call, or you’re having your friend over or meeting them for lunch when they spring some news on you. They are pregnant. You are thinking of what to say, when they quickly mention that they are thinking of having abortion. What do you say? You want to be there for your friend, comfort them, but you also want to help them to ultimately decide to make the right choice.

When you first hear this type of news, it is important to celebrate the life your friend is carrying. Next you can help your friend by offering them solutions/alternatives. Abortion can seem like a good solution if your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, financially unstable, has a health issue etc. However, it is important that they realize the long- term effects of abortion as well as the alternatives and additional resources that are available to help support them.

Here are some helpful recommendations when helping a friend considering abortion:


  • Listen and eliminate distractions.

  • Acknowledge feelings.

  • Physically comfort and encourage them.

  • Discern barriers that prevent choosing life.

  • Speak of parenting in an empowering way.

  • Circle back to the Gospel.

  • Pray continuously.

  • Follow up and follow through.

  • Educate yourself about pregnancy

  • Say “I don’t know but I will find out.”

  • Provide a next step.


  • Disengage because you are uncomfortable.

  • Allow feelings to validate their choices.

  • Remain distant or diagnose their problems.

  • Share your own unrelated stories and issues.

  • Assume adoption is their best option.

  • Dismiss the power of God’s Word.

  • Allow lies your friend may believe to linger.

  • Avoid further conversations.

  • Let awkwardness keep you from being educated abortion

  • Share empty spiritual clichés or make up answers.

  • Assume they will figure it out on their own.

Do's and Don'ts From~ The Life Initiative Counseling a Friend Considering Abortion a guide for friends of a woman or man who is abortion-determined Counseling_a_Friend_Considering_Abortion.pdf (

Some Facts on Unwanted Pregnancies

Unwanted Pregnancy is a genuine issue that affects millions of people as nearly half (45%) of the 6 million pregnancies each year are unintended. ~(

The impact on women, their family members, etc., can often lead to making hard choices that they never intended. Some of these women may feel pressured to give up their child for adoption, while others may see abortion as their only alternative. While unintended pregnancy is a reality for millions each year, there are many resources and options available: Adoption Services, Pregnancy Centers, Financial Support, Free Medical care, etc.

An unplanned pregnancy can often be one filled with excitement however, sometimes they are filled with fear and dread. Often expectant mothers and their families have tough choices when they are faced with an unintended pregnancy- especially if it is a crisis pregnancy.

Some common Questions are:

*How can I afford to have a child?

*What support will I have?

*What medical care will I have?

*Who will cover my medical expenses?

*Who will be raising the child?

*Should I have the baby?

*Should I choose adoption?

There are many questions and concerns that new mothers may be facing, but thankfully they are decisions that she does not have to make alone! There also unplanned pregnancy options and support services that are there to help women in their decision to choose life.

Why Women Choose Abortion vs Adoption

In a study done in the early 2000's women were asked about their reasons for abortion, and the possibility of putting up their child for adoption.

"In a 2004 survey of 1,209 American women at 11 major abortion clinics, women revealed that health problems, rape, incest, nor coercion by family members or partners were not the primary or even secondary reasons for seeking an abortion." ~The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (

Most women who have an abortion, 92% of them listed "other", while 7% state health issues played a factor and only about 0.5% decided to have an abortion due to rape.

Abortion advocates hypocritically point out that women seek out abortion due to pregnancy health risks. However, in this study, most women who choose abortion do so as they believe its the easier solution.

The study also showed that choosing to abort their baby, was not something that these women truly wanted. However, they were convinced that it (abortion) was the best and sometimes only option.

"It is tragic that women facing a difficult or unwanted pregnancy see abortion as their only option." The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (

When asked to consider an alternative like adoption, about 1/3 of the thirty eight women interviewed viewed it as "morally unconscionable" because "giving one's child away is wrong." ~The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (

This line of thinking that Abortion is somehow the better choice than to placing your child up for adoption, shows the great amount of emotional turmoil, confusion, and fear that plays a part in the many women choosing abortion.

"How has it become unacceptable to place a child for adoption, but justified to kill that same child? The profound moral confusion caused by legalized abortion is painfully evident in the accounts given by women in this study."~ The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (

Listed below are the reasons given in the 2004 study of Why Women have Abortions:

· 25% Not ready for a(nother) child/timing is wrong

· 23% Can't afford a baby now

· 19% Have completed my childbearing/have other people depending on me/children are grown

· 8% Don't want to be a single mother/am having relationship problems

· 7% Don't feel mature enough to raise a(nother) child/feel too young

· 4% Would interfere with education or career plans

· 4% Physical problem with my health

· 3% Possible problems affecting the health of the fetus

· <0.5% Was a victim of rape

· <0.5% Husband or partner wants me to have an abortion

· <0.5% Parents want me to have an abortion

· <0.5% Don't want people to know I had sex or got pregnant

· 6% Other

(Statistics taken from: Reasons U.S. Women Have Abortions: Quantitative and Qualitative Perspectives, by Lawrence B. Finer et al. published by the Guttmacher Institute, 2004 )

Here are some of the RISKS associated with Abortion:

· Infection

· Perforation of the uterus

· Hemorrhage

· Cervical incompetence

· Cancer

· Death

· Depression

· Nervous disorders

· sleep disturbances

· Sexual dysfunction

· Alcohol and drug abuse

· Eating disorders

· Child neglect or abuse

· Divorce or chronic relationship problems

· Suicide. ~Abortion Facts Archives - Pro-Life Action League

It is estimated that 4 out of 10 pregnancies will result in termination of pregnancy. 88% of those abortions are done in the first twelve weeks and over 70% of those women that choose abortion, say that "they experienced negative feelings about the situation." ~Facts About Adoption Instead of Abortion (

For those facing an unwanted or difficult pregnancy, it is sad to think that "women facing a difficult or unwanted pregnancy see abortion as their only option." The Real Reason Women Choose Abortion (

Besides the obvious risks and feelings of grief that can occur from abortion, we believe that science itself proves that abortion indeed takes the life of an innocent albeit unborn life. From Biology we can see that from conception springs forth an organism that contains all the necessary human DNA required for life and "as far as observable science is concerned, human life begins at conception." ~Life in the Womb Archives - Pro-Life Action League

In our opinion every life is important, even the life of the unborn. We encourage every would be parent to please take into consideration the beauty and intricacy of their unborn child. Remember the ripple effect that a stone tossed out in a lake makes, how each ripple of the stone creates a bigger one than before. In the same way we believe that each and every life is precious and holds a world of potential, perhaps to even change the world!

Fetal Timeline To see a Fetal Development in the Womb Timeline: click here.


"Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting of another, usually a child, from that person's biological or legal parent or parents. Legal adoptions permanently transfer all rights and responsibilities, along with filiation, from the biological parent or parents." ~

Putting up a baby for adoption is not an easy decision, but is the best choice if the alternative is abortion. There are so many adoptive families who are just waiting and longing to have a child of their own! Sometimes in the adoption process, birth mothers can feel guilty about putting up their baby for adoption. They may have feelings of grief, anxiety, or just feel like a failure for not wanting to or being unable to care for their child. Whatever the reasons may be for choosing to place your child for adoption, it can be an emotional and hard decision for any woman and for everyone involved. However, that being said to create an adoption plan with a potential adoptive family can be the right decision in the health of your future child.

Why an Adoption Agency?

Adoption Agencies are created to help connect birth mother with potential adoptive parents. For those who choose adoption, an Adoption Agency is a logical and safe choice. Adoption agencies are able to set up meetings with prospective adoptive and birth parents and be the liaison between the two. An adoption agency is also able to handle details concerning the adoption to make it legally safe for all involved parties as well as help keep accountability on the welfare and health of the adoptive child.

The adoption process is not always easy and having trusted adoption services can make a world of difference when navigating the road of choosing adoption.

What does Adoption mean to a child?

Putting a child up for adoption can be one of the most complex decisions one has to make as there are many emotions involved. However, sometimes it can be the best decision to choose adoption, especially if the birth mother is young, unable to care for her child, or is physically unfit. Placing a child for adoption is not always easy, but the best choice when choosing between abortion or adoption. Those who are adopted children may feel not wanted by their birth parents, resulting in feelings of depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc. However, placing a child in the care of a loving and supportive family can change their future into a bright and happy one. Also, there are options in the adoption process like open adoption, that make it possible for the birth mother and father to be a part of their adoptive child’s life!

Facts About Adoption Benefits

There are many couples who want to be pregnant and are unable due to health challenges. These and many other families are searching for potential children to become a part of their adoptive family. In fact, there are 560,000 couples who are currently seeking to become adoptive parents in the US alone.

There are different types of options available as well for adoption such as a: semi open, or open adoption. In either scenario the parents are able to determine the amount of contact they wish to have with their child and adoptive family. Some parents choose to remain an active part of their child's life while others feel that in the interest of all involved, it would better if they not interfere.

Whatever choice, adoption instead of abortion is the best option!

Here are some facts about adoption that a 2007 National Survey reported about adopted children:

● Adopted children were more likely to be read to every day as young children (68 percent of adopted children vs. 48 percent of children in the general population).

● Adopted children were more likely to be sung or told stories every day as a young child (73 percent of adopted children vs. 59 percent of children in the general population).

● Adopted children were more likely to participate in extracurricular activities as school-age children (85 percent of adopted children vs. 81 percent of children in the general population).

● More than half of adopted children have excellent or outstanding reading, language arts, and math performance. Report from: ~

Getting Help

For birth mothers dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, it can seem daunting and overwhelming. However, there is no reason to be afraid. You don't have to do this on your own! There are many FREE services available from medical, counseling, even financial assistance or living expenses!

We are Operation Rescue Me are here to support you by connecting you to local and national services that can help you with unplanned pregnancy options! For more information on local and national services click here


Operation Rescue Me Loves Moms! We are a Charlotte, NC based ministry whose heart is for mothers and their unborn child! We exist to help connect moms with local and national resources that can help mothers dealing with an unplanned pregnancy! We also hold an annual event where we educate, connect parents with ministries and local services as well as minister to emotional and spiritual needs. If you are looking for help, please don't hesitate to contact us through our email: or by going to our website:

We pray that the Lord blesses you and the life of your little one to be!

Four Reasons To Attend Operation Rescue Me

● Operation Rescue Me Unites! We are on a mission to unite local and national ministries for the unborn.

● Providing Hope and Solutions For Pregnant Mothers

● Supporting Like-Minded Ministries

● Raising Awareness & Ministry Opportunities Learn More Here!

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